wake up! its's sunday

adapted from Becoming an Emissary for God by Allen Atzbi

Only attempt the following if you desire to prevent people from being saved at an altar call.

personal attitude

• Make every effort to ensure audiences see how great a speaker and person you are. Since people come to listen to you it is important to be the prominent figure.
• Use monologues as to preach so as to monopolise and be responsible for what people hear
• Why? Because discussion and exchanging ideas enables people to understand what is said.

Rearrange how you preach

• New methods are acceptable because the church has come a long way since the time of the apostles.
• Copying the preachers of large congregations cannot fail.
• Exclude the messianic prophecies Jesus fulfilled.
• Avoid explaining Jesus’ suffering death on the cross, his burial, or resurrection.
• Don't call people to obey the gospel.
• Successful altar calls can be avoided by simply withholding the knowledge of how to get saved. People can only run to Jesus for forgiveness when they realise he is God and recognise the Bible as true.

Present your message in a way that cannot be understood

• Use jargon words (e.g. saved, repent, born again) or replace them with contemporary terms
• Don't explain what they mean
• Rush through messages so people can get to more pressing matters more quickly.

Don't tell people to feel bad about their sins

• Limit talk to the sin itself or how to improve.
• Never explain the eternal consequences of sin so as to falsely assure people of God’s forgiveness.
• Disregarding the reality that we made ourselves His enemy through sin ignores the necessity of personally receiving Jesus to partake of that forgiveness.
• Only reveal the uplifting part of God’s character. Preach about His love but omit His holiness and justice.
• This makes faith and repentance as an offer instead of a command. So, don't explain
  -   what Jesus came to deliver us from
  -   our need for a Saviour
  -   why he is the only way

Pretend people naturally understand what Christ did for them

• Only need to raise a hand and echo a prayer.
• Utilise psychological techniques or manipulation to provoke the response (e.g. stirring music or the promise of life enhancement)
• Withhold that Jesus is the only one able to save us from Hell.
• Avoid informing people they are being asked to commit their life to Christ. Say things like:
  “If you don’t feel you are as close to God as possible raise your hand”
  “If you feel lonely come to the front for prayer”
  “If you want more of God this is your time”
  “If you have struggles and need the answer come down”

conclusion

Surely, people can work out how to be forgiven without teaching about repentance. Why should they know what they are saying or count the cost? Can a prayer or request equal salvation through faith in Christ and repentance toward God? Moreover, never encourage people to examine whether or not they are in faith. It is enough that the congregation is growing even if no fruit is evident. Remember, people need a false assurance of salvation.

additional thoughts

Now if this advice is not enough to inhibit people from being saved at an altar call, then there are two more things you may wish to try.

• Limit calls to within church services. Taking the gospel elsewhere would mean encountering sinners.
• Deceive other Christians into believing they are either incapable of witnessing correctly, or they must rely upon your permission.

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transforming the fishbowl

A small fish bowl containing some fish stands atop a pedestal,

Grace written upon it.

Nearby are other fishbowls, each upon their own platform.

Now, despite the desire if the fish to travel between the bowls, they cannot.

The air too deadly to the breath.

Suddenly, a sharp implement punctures a hole into the first bowl,

Precious water draining away.

At first the fish fail to notice.

Why is desperation needed beffore realising your predicament?

Do not be fooled, only fish believe they were designed to breathe water.

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the dry bones live

A montage of Canberra’s Heart visions entered my sight, concluding with the small central grey building. Drums played atop it, calling “Wake up! Wake up!” causing its foundation to quiver and shift. Then as I watched, it was encircled by scattered bones.

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the repentant multitude (2)

A great multitude aged 15-27 and dressed in 1980’s Punk/Goth fashion [1] came into Garema between King O’Malley and Impact Records (Figure). Tables were set up between the two stores to check off names as the people arrived. Though I do not remember the conversation, I asked something of the table attendants authoritatively as walking toward the interchange intersection. Finding it difficult to move against the flow, I stood on my toes to see above the crowd, yet the multitude was greater than I can fathom, continuing to the horizon. 

[1] Makeup, hair: long black trench coats, black hair and eye-lining, as well as white skin, combined with Mohawks, piercing, and heavy jewellery.

heavy jewellery.

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